This woman and I actually started the process of getting married back in 2011. Out of respect for her, I’ll call her “Rose.” On 12/22/11, I got my first letter from Rose. She found me on goodprisoner.com.
By 1/25/12, I was getting letters from her that read in part, “Yes, of course I will marry you. There isn’t anyone who could love me more or better.”
On 1/27/12, she wrote:
You are breaking my poor heart with all the romance that you are showing me. Believe it or not, no one has ever come close to how you treat me. How can I ever deny you? I can’t and I don’t want to either. I will be gentle with your heart, emotions, and feelings. I showed my daughter your picture. She got all red in the face and said that you are beautiful. I told her that I am going to marry you, and she said she wished that it was her. She said, “Ummm, he is sooo fine!” I said, “Girl, I know. He’s BAAADDD!” I am proud of you and I am proud to be with you. I love you. ~Rose
On 1/30/12, she wrote:
Baby, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, for the beautiful cards that you made and sent to my daughter and I! We absolutely love them, but NOT as much as we LOVE you, Steven! I will always love you and treat you with the GREATEST respect as my friend, partner, lover, and husband!!! You are a beautiful and very special person. My daughter cannot stop saying, “That’s a beautiful card, Mama!” We have tears of joy in our hearts and eyes. My daughter just kissed your picture and I am gonna kiss it everyday. You are too much…I love you, Baby! Sincerely, Rose
These beautiful letters went back and forth for weeks. THEN, I got one dated 2/11/12. In part, this is what it said:
I have re-evaluated my situation and my feelings that I thought I had for you. You have been institutionalized for all of your adult life and that has impaired your understanding of the dynamics of men and women in relationships. The only experiences regarding real, committed, intimate involvements that you have had with women OR anything else, has come from those in your family, a few scattered friends, a dog in a rehabilitative program, and a f*cking bird named Chirpy! I mean, give me a break! As a result of being around a bunch of derelicts and hard-leg men, you have become a product of the delusional environment you exist in with an unrealistic mind. I mean…what do you really know about love and relationships, except that you want conjugal visits as a means to satisfy a fantasy you have, and because you have been deprived of the privileges of those of us in the free world? You were the one that f*cked up and now you want rights that you waived when you committed crimes, not only as an adult, but as a JUVENILE as well, to be given to you. Huh! You should have thought of all that before you committed criminal mischief and those four felonies!
You are a sociological, philosophical, and criminological EXPERIMENT for my master’s thesis book. Simply put, you, your letters, your websites, and all of your emails and ALL of your crimes (to give a thorough chronology to the extent of your delinquency), are priceless research for me to get accepted into my doctorate program this Fall and to get an A. For that, I thank you very much.
What do you know about being echelon and classy, Sweetheart? All I SEE is prison issued attire, bad grammar, and an uneducated boy perpetrating that of a so-called “hip” and current man. You do NOT know who you are!!! But, how could you? How truly sad…
I don’t want to be in a fantasy relationship with a BOY, as I do not have time to re-RAISE someone else’s child! You don’t know and will never know how to love a woman like me. You are too immature and you really won’t know what true love is until you get OUT OF PRISON!!! Steven, I don’t have to lower my standards to be happy or to be loved, and to continue to deal with you and your BS, is exactly what I will be doing. Convince someone else how “different and special you are,” because to me you are NO DIFFERENT, BETTER, or UNIQUE, than the rest of those CRIMINALS AND CONVICTS who think they have so much to offer a woman! This is my last letter and request to you, Steven Dale Jennings. Please return all of my pictures, as I don’t want you to have me as part of your entourage. Forget about me and my daughter. I can’t deal with you and the stress you bring me. You are too disruptive and you are causing me a great deal of anguish. ~Rose
Wow! That was a lot to take in. How do you respond to that? Very carefully. First, I did as she requested. I sent back all of her photos. I was kind and respectful. I apologized for making her feel that way. I kept my words short and sweet. I knew she needed time and space.
Then, on 2/14/12, to my surprise I got this email from her, “I feel like sh*t for being mean to you! Ignore me and my craziness! I just need you so bad, baby! I love you. ~Rose”
I took that as an opportunity to respond to her mean email a little bit. I was kind and respectful. Then for the next few weeks I’d get emails like this, “You are an incredible person and a truly beautiful, beautiful soul. I love how you immediately try to make things right between us! That makes me so happy! I just love you, Steven! ~Rose”
On 4/18/12 she wrote, “What did I do to deserve you? How could one woman be sooo lucky? You are a DREAM…I love you with all my heart. ~Rose”
On 4/22/12, I got another email. It read, in part:
This will be the last email that you will ever receive from me. Trying to have a relationship with you is much more than I have bargained for and in my estimate, not worth it. I no longer want to have any form of communication with you, nor do I want to receive any communication from you as well. To deal with you is too hard for me. The energy, time, and money that I have exerted on this hopeless rapport, is pointless!!! Therefore, I choose not to exert anymore effort on it. Find someone else that you can hustle and have bow down to you, because I am NOT THE ONE!
I can go on and on with these love/hate emails. I definitely saw a pattern. I started to realize that she loved to fight just to get a reaction out of me. No matter what I said or did, it was only a matter of time before she found something to quarrel about.
I could always soothe her over when she felt like it was time. But no matter what, I knew another un-provoked storm was on the way.
As much as I loved her and all of her good qualities, I realized that it’s better to live on a corner of a roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife. It was time to move on.
And THANK GOD I did. Soon after, I met Suzie. The love of my life. My soul mate. The Yin to my Yang. My perfect match. My wife.
Suzie is a tender and wholesome woman. A gentle soul. She shows understanding in her words and actions as we learn & grow together. She is soooo much more than I ever expected. She accepts me, ALL of me. She see’s me for who I am, not where I am.
A lot of people find it intriguing how relationships like ours come to be. To read how Suzie & I met and fell in love, please check out: Real Love Letters