I took a seat in the back. I shook a few hands as people filed in. Then, I just sat there and listened as people read from chapter 10 in the big blue NA book. This is what I got from it:
“We are often amazed at how things work out for us. We are recovering in the here and now and the future becomes an exciting journey.” (pg. 106)
This is so true! My journey has taken me all over the place. Yet, I physically remain in prison.
However, the mental landscape changes dramatically…because my thoughts & actions
create my circumstances & environment. I can do easy time or hard time. I can focus on the positive or the negative. It’s my choice.
Case in point: I choose to improve myself. Therefore, I am able to improve my circumstances and my environment. Within the confines of prison!
I’ve been trying to get into the Dog Program since 2009. They kept denying me. I felt I was ready, but they felt I wasn’t. My past infractions had them very skeptical. Then in 2011, I was attacked and I defended myself (How I Lost My EFV’s For 5 Years). That was a huge setback.
My journey has taught me that you don’t get what you hope and pray for. You get what you justly earn. Wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with propper thoughts and actions.
I have finally been accepted into the Dog Program. It took me over 6 years, but I did it!
This proves that I AM THE MAKER OF MYSELF and the SHAPER AND AUTHOR OF MY ENVIRONMENT.
For years I wanted to improve my comfort level and living conditions. But I was unwilling to improve myself. And even after I was willing, I struggled to find effective ways. Therefore, I remained bound. I was constantly getting in my own way. I continued to seek effective ways to change myself. Seek and ye shall find!
I found a strong desire to change.
I found influential books, such as: The Bible, The Science of Mind, and As A Man Thinketh…just to name a few.
But most importantly, I found love. I found Suzie. Her love & support fuels me in a way I’ve never known.
“We become increasingly open-minded and open to new ideas in all areas of our lives. Through active listening, we hear things that work for us. This ability to listen is a gift and grows as we grow spiritually. Life takes on new meaning when we open ourselves to this gift. In order to recieve, we must be willing to give.” (pg. 106-107)
NA has given me cause for deeper thought. I read and listen to these words and it’s like planting seeds throughout my mind. These seeds take root and produce. They blossom sooner or later into action. I believe this concept as fact because it has transformed my life.
I love NA because it is now a colorful pillar that aids in my understanding, growth, and rehabilitation. NA is truly broadening my perspective.