A big heart-felt “Thank You” to everyone who takes the time to leave comments. Your positive encouragement is a powerful force in my life. In a sense, you all hold me accountable for my actions.
The last thing I want to do is let you all down by acting in a way that isn’t consistent with your support. I understand that first and foremost, I must conduct myself appropriately for no one but myself. But man, I gotta tell you…it’s such a blessing and inspiration to have my family, friends, and all you followers encouraging me.
I feel the power behind all the love & support. It fuels me and energizes me to deal with any situation in an appropriate manner.
The power you all give me has made it so easy to choose right over wrong. The choice isn’t even a decision anymore. It comes so easy and natural.
Whereas in the past, I would struggle to make the right decision. Then, after making the right decision, I would question it, and consider going back to reverse it.
Let me give an example…
One day (about 3 yrs ago) I was playing cards in the dayroom. There was four of us at the table. One guy was fairly new to the game. So I would give him pointers and tips.
He kept making the same mistake over and over. Pinochle can be complicated like that.
I got frustrated and lashed out, “Why the f**k are you making things so complicated? If you don’t know what to do, push trump! How many times do I gotta tell you?!”
To my surprise, this guy slammed his cards on the table, stood up, and said, “Talk to your f**king kids like that. I’m a grown man…you address me with respect.”
I said, “Calm down, your causing a scene.”
He said,” I don’t give a f**k! I’ll beat your ass!”
I said, “Dude! You’re tripping. It’s not that serious!”
At this point he realizes I’m not trying to fight. So he pushes a little harder. He acts like he’s throwing a punch across the table in an attempt to make me flinch. I didn’t.
He says, “Bring your ass to the bathroom” as he walks in that direction. The bathroom is where a lot of fights happen because it’s out of view from the cameras.
I say, “I’m not going to fight you…your tripping!”
This dialogue goes back and forth for too long. More and more people are starting to tune in. I’m on the verge of saying,”f*ck it” and going into the bathroom to beat his ass.
Instead I go to my cell for a self-imposed “time out”.
The mental re-enactment is pure torture! I want to go smash that dude so bad. I tell myself that I will go pay him a visit at a later date, when no one is looking, and no one is expecting it.
As the days turn into weeks, it gets easier to let it go. But every day I have to look at this guy, and everyday I’m reminded that he called me out and I ran to my cell like a little b*tch.
I never did go smash that guy. Instead, I realized my wrong doing. And I focused on how I brought that entire situation on myself.
Today, I would never allow a situation like that to even get started. Because today I have the power behind me that enables me to do the right thing. This power comes from within, and from all of you.
Whenever a potential bad situation comes my way, it’s so easy to deal with it appropriately. I am no longer tempted to lash out…not even a little bit.