Day 34 In The Hole

 

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I am sharing the journal I kept while I did 7 months in the hole.

 

Dec. 29th, 2008 @ 2am

I tried calling my mom yesterday and found out the prison has blocked all my numbers. That means I can’t call anyone. This week I’ll try to get that fixed. All I can do is write a kite to my case manager. We’ll see!

The hardest part of prison is hole time. Because it makes you think more. Things just pop into mind. Good and bad.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my crime. I wonder how could I have actually carried through with such an act. I think about my family and all the pain I’ve caused. I think about the victims and all their friends and families, and how I hurt so many people.

***

I’m in a tight little box with just me and my thoughts. When my thoughts get too intense, I force myself to switch gears. I seek the positive aspects that are within painful situations and thoughts.

For example, I’m thankful no one died. I’m thankful that I have a release date. I’m thankful that I won’t die as an old man in prison.

Despite my situation, I’m so lucky in so many ways. And that’s what I like to focus on.

 

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Steven Jennings

Author: Steven & Suzie Jennings

She was raised as a Mormon, and he is a convict serving 43 years in prison. This blog offers a glimpse into two vastly different worlds that somehow came crashing together. Join them on their journey through prison life & married life.

3 thoughts

  1. I learn so much from you. You have been my sustaining strength in so many ways. I thank God for saving you from yourself. Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

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