Another Fight Avoided



On Feb. 2nd 2015, I was in the gym playing handball. I went back deep to hit a ball. I knew there were a few guys back there. They were working out. That’s nothing new. There are always guys back there.

As I returned to the court, I noticed one guy rapidly following me. He says, “Hey man, don’t you ever run up on me like that again.”

As a result of my constant positive thinking, my response was somewhat compulsive. Only this time it was compulsive on the positive side of the spectrum. (see: How To Control Compulsive Thoughts)

I instantly said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”
(Remember? This is what I should’ve said to Brent In: How I Lost My EFV’s For 5 Years)

To my surprise he said, “Yeah, well don’t let it happen again.” And he walked away.

I continued my game. Almost immediately, another ball was hit deep. This time I just stood there and watched it sail into hostile territory.

I didn’t even go get it. I simply shook the hands of the other three handball players, and said, “Good game guys. I’m done for the day.”

Then I went to the cardio room and spent the last 20 minutes on the elliptical machine.

The way I handled this situation is very encouraging to me. Because there was a time when I would’ve hurt that boy for being so rude and disrespectful.

But even after I committed to “NO MORE FIGHTS”, I still found myself struggling.

I would avoid a fight, but it would be super hard. I’d lose sleep. I’d feel conflicted. I’d still think about going back to fight. And sometimes I’d say the wrong thing that would leave me no choice but to fight.

But on this day, none of that was a factor. It was so easy to apologize. It was so easy to walk away. I wasn’t tempted to meet his aggressive words with aggressive words of my own. I didn’t lose any sleep. I wasn’t even slightly tempted to go back and confront ol boy.

I’m viewing this incident as a positive event in my life. I’m using it as a milestone to mark significant progress. Because not only did I do the right thing, but none of the negative side effects haunted me. And this time it was super easy to do the right thing.

It just goes to show that if you think in a positive manner, your actions will eventually catch up to your thinking.

This applies to negative thinking too. I shared A Few Poems in my last post. One of the poems was dated back to when I was 12 years old. That poem showed my negative mindset. As a youngster, most my thoughts were violent and negative. By the time I was 20, my actions had caught up to those deep, dark, violent thoughts.

The message is clear…nurture your mind with happy, positive, loving material. Limit your thinking to all things good. Then, when the storm comes, you’ll be able to stand strong and produce a positive outcome.

These are lessons I’ve learned the hard way. It feels good to finally get it right.

Better late than never.

It’s never too late to change for the good.



Steven Jennings



  1. Congratulations Steven! Wow wow wow! Doesn’t it feel soooo good when the new way of being finally sinks in deep and there’s no longer any conflict. Well done! I can still get triggered into anger and defensiveness, but every time I have a response like you did, where it’s just easy to say sorry (or whatever is appropriate) and move on I feel as if I’ve made real progress.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you. You are an inspiration to me. Just being able to watch as you change your life both internal and external is a privilege. I’m on my own journey – it’s a different journey but still, good to see someone else making progress, it encourages me. 😉


  3. Yes what a big change. Having been a bully most of my life (hence the reason for my blog) it was a huge change when I decided not to participate in arguments with my wife any more. I would not fall for her baits and many times ‘bit my tongue’. the odd thing was she had no one to fight with anymore or blame her displeasure on. We did end up divorced anyway but this time (4th divorce) I was able to do it in peace, full consciousness and love. It is impossible to fight with only one person in the ring. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

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