Day 11 In The Hole

Journal entry 12-6-08 at 9PM:

Today was a productive day. I woke up to breakfast in bed. 5AM. Too early to eat. So I put the oatmeal in a cup. I wrap the toast in toilet paper. I put the potatoes & eggs in a plastic bag. I hide it all at the foot of my bed, under the mattress. The rules say I must eat it NOW. No saving food. Whatever!

I place the empty tray by the door. I go back to sleep. Thirty minutes later, the C/O’s are collecting trays. I get up (it’s freezing), hand them my tray, then go back to sleep until lunch.

Lunch is at 10 AM. It’s a bologna & cheese sandwich, macaroni salad, apple sauce, and some type of watery soup that I don’t touch. I eat everything else as fast as I can. Sleep time. Thirty minutes later, tray pick up. Sleep time again.

4:30 PM – dinner time! Now my day begins. I ate dinner. Then I stripped my bed and scrubbed it down w/soap and water. After I dried it off, I rubbed a Speed Stick all over it. It smells good. I like that.

Then I took a birdbath in the sink. Soo cold! I’ve only showered once since Nov. 22nd! I hate showers in here. It’s just too dang cold!

But tomorrow I have to, or else I’m in BIG trouble. A guard came to my cell and informed me that I MUST shower tomorrow or I’ll get an infraction. The rules say: Once a week!

Sometimes I feel as though I missed my calling in life. But life isn’t over yet. So what if I got out and did a documentary on how to make Million$? This could be appealing to millions. Fresh out of the joint, no fancy education, just the desire to succeed. Armed with the knowledge that no one can stop me but myself. I would give the illusion of it being so easy. I would place ads saying, “Who wants to make millions with me? Looking for smart, educated, energetic, enthusiastic, motivated people!” The journey itself could be worth additional millions if done right. I’ll call it, “How A Dummy Fresh Outta The Joint Makes A Million Bucks!” Wednesday’s 8/9c on FOX. You never know!

Anyway, back to reality. My fingernails are long, I need a haircut, and I haven’t shaved in two weeks. I also have 5 zits on the left side of my forehead. Goodnight.


This entry is kind all over the place. It’s also dripping with sarcasm. The sarcasm illustrates a lack of respect for the rules. Back then I thought I could pick and choose which rules I’d obey and break.

This entry also shows how much of a dreamer I am. I spend so much time daydreaming about a variety of things. Mainly of the things I wanna do when I get out.

I know I can make my dreams a reality. It all boils down to: HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?



  1. You remind me of a few people I know. Your attitude is wonderful. You are only responsible for yourself, and you can be successful. You will go along way if you continue along this thinking.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I praise God for your increasingly positive attitude in a very negative situation! You, and others in your position, are in my prayers. Romans 8:28 never forget!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very often in my own life survival required a kind of self-imposed isolation somewhat (nowhere near as enforced) like what you describe here, even down to the showering thing (too easy for the tormentors in my life to catch me in a vulnerable spot like that). At times of that nature, I too turned to the solace of a good dream life as a means of non-physical escape, and imaginary coping with circumstances beyond the control of anyone that was only 7 or 8 years old. The dreaming habit carried on into adulthood, and that became the social life that replaced the actual one that I never had. Your anecdotes remind me of these things quite vividly, so I think you must have the skills of a very good writer. Keep it up, and I’ll read you later.

    Liked by 1 person

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