Pizza & Pie Stacked Sky High

It was about 8 am when an officer called me to his station. As soon as I walk up, I see a sly smile on his face. He says, “I need to look in your cell.”

Right away I realize this is odd. Since when do they tell inmates that they’re about to do a visual cell search? I respond, “Alright. May I ask why?”

Again, I see a slight smirk on his face. He says, “We just received a snitch kite saying you have pizza and pie stacked sky high in your cell.”

The conversation continues as we walk up the stairs and approach my cell. I can tell this officer could care less. He’s just doing his job. So I say, “You’re a little late. My celly and I already ate it all.”

He asks, “How much did you have?”

“It was stacked sky high.”

He laughs.

I open my door. My celly is laying on his bunk watching the morning news. “Cell search!” I announce, “Someone dropped a kite saying we had pizza and pie stacked sky high.”

“What?” my celly says as he starts to get up.

The officer says, “You don’t need to get up.”

So my celly just sits there as the officer gyrates his neck like a flamingo and scans the cell. Then he says, “Alright, I don’t see any excess pizza and pie.”

And with that, he turns and walks away. I shut my door. Then I turn to Thomas and say, “Can you believe these rats? They’ll tell on anyone for anything.”

Thomas says, “Who do you think it was?”

“Hell, it could’ve been anyone. The entire dayroom watched me collect 3 pizza’s and 4 pies from 5 different people. I just can’t believe some jealous rat dropped a kite.”

The snitch did provide accurate info. I got the pizza’s and pies on a Saturday morning. They got the kite on Monday morning. That’s 48 hours later. Too late.

The pizza and pie is from a fundraiser. They do 4 fundraisers per year. This little story took place 9 months ago. Today is Super Bowl Sunday. Coincidentally, we received another fundraiser order of pizza ($11.50), pie ($7.50), and 2 liter soda’s ($2.00).

So let’s say for example, I bet on the Seahawks. And let’s say the Seahawks win 48-8. Well that would be one way to get pizza and pie stacked sky high. 😉

Have a nice day.


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